He Wants Your Heart, Not Your List Uman 5787

The Rebbe writes v'zeh b'chol pa'am shebo etzel talmid chacham u'mesaper lefanav kol libo — and every time you come to a talmid chacham, you tell over before him your whole heart. He does not write kol ma'asav. Not all your actions. Kol libo. Your heart. Which is not the same avodah at all. Yesterday I fell is a report. What he is asking for is what was underneath it: what am I feeling right now, and what was I feeling before the aveira that sent me running — looking for comfort in some temporary substitute, from the lowest level of any distraction at all up to ta'avos ra'os and middos ra'os mamash. And that is hard, especially when the heart is stuffed and clogged from so many years of separation. This is the closing part of the shiur, and it stays on one thing: what the tzaddik actually gives you when you stand there. • Re'iyas pnei hatzaddik — the presence of a mother who gives unconditional love, and why you must not waste it • Don't be intimidated by the intensity of the love and tell yourself it's too much, I need a break. Stay in it. There is nothing more delightful in this world • And while he is loving you, he is breaking your ta'avos and your middos ra'os at the same time • אי״ש — ein shum yeush. The Rebbe writes ish: anyone who has not given up on himself belongs here • Contentment as the real danger — I daven with a minyan, check the box; I learn every day, check the box; and at least I'm better than that guy over there • What the tzaddik puts into you instead: a want. A desire. No — I could do this. I could connect. I could give you my heart • Telling him the things that never get said out loud: I feel lonely, I feel rejected, I feel like a failure, I can't do this again and again — and I'm here because I want to, I just don't know how • וּמְפָרֵשׁ לוֹ דֶּרֶךְ — he doesn't only repair what you broke. He gives you a way forward, so that even if you fall it isn't the same kind of fall, and even if you fail it's shogeg • Matan Torah, again. Anochi Hashem Elokecha asher hotzeisicha me'eretz Mitzrayim mibeis avadim — an event that happened once and will never happen again, and yet it happens every single time you come to the tziyun and are mitvadeh. Bringing Elokim back to Havayah. Out of your own Mitzrayim, out of the house of slavery, out of the trap of the lost princess • And what to do tonight: go to the tziyun now, go to the mikveh, daven Mincha and Maariv, say Tikkun HaKlali — and for one moment be aware that you are standing in the place of unconditional love Aibershter — give me a derech. Give me new tools, new prescriptions. I am surrendering my stupid peanut brain that always thinks it knows better. Erev Rosh Hashana, Uman. #Uman #UmanRoshHashana #Breslov #Breslev #RebNachman #RebbeNachman #RabbiNachmanOfBreslov #ViduiDevarim #MesaperLefanavKolLibo #Torah4 #LikuteiMoharan #LikuteyMoharan #ChayeiMoharan #TikkunHaKlali #Tziyun #Teshuva #Teshuvah #RoshHashana #RoshHashanah #Chassidus #Chassidut #Hisbodedus #Hitbodedut #Emuna #Emunah #Tzaddik #EinShumYeush #NoDespair #MatanTorah #Anochi #Havayah #Elokim #LostPrincess #BasMelech #JewishSpirituality #BaalTeshuva #JewishGrowth #TorahShiur #Shiur #Yiddishkeit #Mikveh #Ukraine #KesivahVachasimahTovah